In bringing my blog back to life, I’ve thought long and hard about what I want this space to be. I see it as a combination of things, a “lifestyle blog” if you will. I hope I can share my thoughts on anything and everything, whether that’s makeup tutorials, a story from my life as a sports reporter, or something my dog did that might make you laugh.

However, as I’ve set out to start this journey of really committing to my blog, I realized there are still aspects of my life I’m not quite comfortable sharing or talking about. I’m not sure why, because we’re all human and it’s those imperfections that make us real. And yet, I still struggle to be fully transparent.

Over the last few days, I’ve been reminded of how toxic this can be. A good friend of mine recently shared with me thoughts on the culture of social media, and how it’s become a difficult place to be anymore. There’s this constant need (for many of us) to feel like you’re competing, and that your life needs to be perfect. But that’s not reality.

That’s why the news of Washington State quarterback Tyler Hilinski was so heartbreaking for me personally. I read tweet after tweet from people saying how kind and happy he was. The words “cheerful” and “gregarious” were used. Coach Mike Leach said he was a privilege to know.

I believe every word of what those individuals said. But we never know the battles others are going through. That’s the difficult part. The outwardly cheerful and gregarious people we know day-to-day may be battling demons we’ll never see and understand.

And I thought my friend Zach’s tweet on how nobody is “too athletic, too strong, too cool or too seemingly happy to be depressed” was poetic and poignant. Because it’s true.

We’ll never start to understand and know the battles others are going through unless we’re willing to talk and reach out. Even then, we may never know the full story. All we can do is be kind, love one another, show grace and compassion and be willing to listen.

And for myself personally, I promise to balance reality within the “lifestyle” I present here and on my social accounts. Because while it may be hard for me to discuss certain things, I know it can also be very important. I’ll get there, and hopefully we can all help one another along the way.

In the meantime, if you are feeling alone, please know that you’re not. The National Suicide Prevention Landline is available 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255.

You are important. You are loved. The world is better because you’re here. Never forget that.

And to Tyler’s family, friends, and teammates, you have my absolutely deepest condolences. I cannot even begin to fathom the pain you are feeling. My love and prayers to you all.

Erin